Aftermath
by Franzi
Summary: This is an epilogue to the episode "Prisoner X". Jim needs some time alone to think...


**Thanks**: go to FalconKenobi for helping me with this, although it's Gen and to Elaine for the beta :D  
**Notes**: This is an epilogue for the episode "Prisoner X"  
**Warning**: POV changes after first part.  
**Disclaimer**: See the Fan Fiction Page

** The Sentinel  
- Aftermath -  
** _written by Franzi (April 2000)  
translated by Franzi (January 2002)_

Hatred.

Never in his life had Jim felt such a deep hatred like as he had in the last few days. He never thought he could feel like this. But Starkville prison had changed him. More than he had ever considered possible.

Now he lay in his bed, awake, and couldn't stop thinking. He thought about the latest events, and how he could find the way back to himself again. Deep in his soul, he ached to talk to Blair about it, but he wasn't ready for this just yet. He needed time. Time alone.

His gaze caught the numbers on his clock. 4:23 am. There was still a long sleepless night ahead of him. He knew Blair couldn't sleep, either. He could hear him.

He didn't spend another thought on talking to his friend. He had to get away from here. Away from the walls surrounding him. The walls almost drove him mad.

Being as quiet as possible, he got up, dressed and walked out the door. Then he started the engine of his truck and drove away.

~~~~~

Damnit. Of course, I heard Jim leaving the loft, no matter how quiet he tried to be. I also knew where he would go. There was a place in the mountains that Jim sometimes uses for retreating, when he can't stand anybody or anything around him. He showed me this place once. It's way up in the mountains and I don't know if my car can make it all the way up there.

So what am I supposed to do now? Shall I wait here for him? Or should I haul my butt out of bed and try to follow him?

I know he needs time alone, he needs a place without walls. Freedom. Peace. I saw it in his eyes. I decide to wait an hour. He's probably - definitely - able to make it to his special place up on the mountain faster than me, so he should have enough time before I show up.

In moments like this I always wish he would talk about it. What is he afraid of? I know that his father didn't tolerate weakness. And showing emotions, that was showing weakness for William.

Why doesn't he tell me how he feels? What he thinks? Somehow this hurts. By now, he should *know* that I'll be always there for him, that he can trust me and talk about everything - and I mean everything - with me.

Shaking my head, I get rid of these thoughts. I stare at the clock, watching the numbers changing.

5:30 am. Enough time for him to think.

~~~~~

c I see him sitting there at the top of the mountain. He looks over "his" city. I'm not a Sentinel, but I swear I could see his jaw clenched from here. If I only knew what he is thinking.

Carefully, I step closer to him - always aware that I stay far away from the edge.

Finally, I sit down next to him and wait for a sign of him. Nothing. He's just sitting there looking at Cascade.

Somehow this sight seems to calm him down. I guess that's why he's often standing outside on the balcony, looking at the city. Maybe it has something to do with being the "protector". He's the Sentinel. He has to protect his tribe - the people living in Cascade.

I take a look at him. Again, nothing. Only silence. Long minutes of silence. Minutes, that seem to last forever.

I can't stand the tension any longer.

I have to do *something*. If (Maybe?)he doesn't want to talk. Good. But I have to talk now. After all, he can't sit here forever.

"Jim. What's wrong?"

At first, he doesn't react. As if he didn't even notice me. But then he starts to speak.

"It's the prison, Blair. All the hatred. I would have never thought I could feel such a deep hatred. But in a place like that. In the prison. It eats you alive. And then the narrowness. Walls and bars everywhere. I couldn't stand it. I started to feel crowded in our own apartment. I had to get away. Had to get out. So I came here." 

"Jim. Though I don't know how you must feel now, I can imagine how hard this must be for you. But why didn't you talk to me about it?"

Finally he turns his head and looks at me.

"It's not easy for me to talk about feelings. It has nothing to do with you, Chief."

Smiling, I put my arm around his shoulders.

"I just want you to know that I will always be there for you, Jim. Whatever happens."

"I know, Blair. I know."

For a moment his eyes show me everything. All the things he couldn't say. How much he cared for me, how thankful he was that I was here at his side.

I squeeze his shoulders gently, to show him that I understand. We don't always need words to communicate.

We just stay sit here for a while. Side by side, watching the city starting to awake and the sun rise over Cascade.

"Blair."

"Yes?"

"We better go now. A thunderstorm's heading this way. Should be here in about two hours. I want to be at home by then."

"Jim, there are no clouds in the sky. I'm sure that today will be a sunny day."

"Trust me, chief. I can feel the change in the air."

"You can feel that? Cool. I..."

Jim interrupts me before I can finish the sentence.

"No, Blair. Don't you dare to think about it. No. Tests. Understood?"

Looking as innocent as possible, I answer. "Tests? What tests?"

Finally. A smile. The first one since the case was closed two weeks ago. Happily, I get up and follow him on the way back to our cars.

THE END

**Epilogue (Drabble)**  
_(later in the evening.)_

"Jim?"

"Yeah?"

"You were right."

"About what?"

"The thunderstorm."

"I told you!"

"Are you afraid?"

"No. You?"

"I am."

"Sandburg, it is only a thunderstorm"

*Rustling*

"What are you doing?"

"Protect me, Jim. Hold me in you arms!"

"Blair, don't you think that you are taking this a bit too far?"

*Pause*

"Oh."

"What now?"

"The power is out."

"I know, Chief."

"Don't you have a flashlight?"

"It's in the cupboard."

"Wait, we could put candles all over the place."

"And burn down the apartment?"

"Jim..."

*Rustling, then steps*

"Jim, where are you going to?"

"I'm getting you a flashlight."

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